Super Awesome

This week has been so astonishingly SUPER AWESOME that my head may start spinning and detach itself from my body. First on the itinerary was watching four movies I had never heard of for my "Sociology of Cinema" class. The first movie was called "Matewan" and starred James Earl Jones, Chris Cooper, and some guy that was a head villian in a Dolph Lundregan action movie that took place on a Hawaiian Island. Whatever message about racism and labor disputs the movie was trying to convey was quickly lost as the quality of the VHS tape was so poor that the VCR would replace the static images with a silent blue screen of consternation every three seconds (not to be confused with the Microsoft Windows Blue Screen of Death) making it impossible to know what the hell was going on. Some guy got his throat cut an the sheriff blew somebody's head off on the train tracks leading into town. I think Aliens may have also been involved but as mentioned, the quality of the VHS tape was too poor to make anything out.

Second was "Mississippi Masala," a movie about Denzel Washington falling in love with an Indian girl from Uganda whose father was a political refugee. How or why the Indian natives were in Uganda was not exactly explained, but it was probably not entirely relevant. The film was actually somewhat entertaining, especially to see Indian guys with mullets wearing early 1990's clothing that is now officially a generation old.

Third was "Where the Heart Is," wherein Galatic Republic Senator and former Queen of Tatooine Padme Amadala gives birth to Princess Leia Organa in a Wal-Mart store... in Oklahoma. Luke Skywalker was noticibly absent, as were wookies and and those little critters in Return of The Jedi that are afraid of Darth Vader. There wasn't even a Death Star or Seperatist Droid Army either. But Jar Jar Binks pursued a career as a country music star only to have this legs removed by a train, so it all evened out in the end. Ashley Judd also has six children by six different men for reasons unkown. HOOAHH!

And you know a situation is SUPER AWESOME when the best film of the bunch is a Spanish movie from 1988 that involves Antonio Banderas in his pre-Desperado days attempting to sublet an appartment owned by the woman that his father Ivan was having an affair with but dumped in order to take a feminist attourney from Madrid on a Flight to Stockholm, Sweden only to find out that Antonio's Mom planned on shooting him at the airport and oh yeah Pena's friend had sex with a Shiite terrorist for some reason who was planning on hijacking that very same flight from Madrid to Stockholm for reasons that would only make sense to someone who was suffering from an acute shortfall of adequately oxygenated blood flowing into their brain due to the tightness in which their turban was wrapped around their skull and to round out this abomination of a run on sentence police officers are given gazpacho laced with barbituates. The film was called "Women On The Verge of a Nervous Breakdown," and I'm sure anyone who was a logic Nazi would feel much the same way after viewing the movie.

On top of that a lengthy essay comparing the American Revolution to another revolution (Nintendo's next console?) awaits, and ATI's new Catalyst 5.3 drivers have formed a strategic alliance with Windows XP in order to brutally rape and murder my PC.

I'm so glad that I'm not getting drunk, gambling, and getting more drunk in Las Vegas like I was last year for spring break. That would really, really suck.